Dear Hipsters,

May I please join your club? I too would like to discuss high art while drinking five dollar cappuccinos and espressos. I want nothing more than to have a "complicated" hair style, and cool "I know I'm cool, but I don't want you to know that I know I'm cool" clothing.

I can listen to trendy underground music. I can probably even figure out what hidden message the "artist" is trying to beat me over the head with. I'll pretend to like Radiohead. After all, isn't that what you people do?

I can make snarky comments and watch Juno a few more times if that is what it takes. I'll even read up on politics and have opinions on American culture, if you would be so kind as to let me join your non-comforming counter culture.

I'll read those New York Times Best Sellers. I'll even comment on how the book is better than the movie. A three hundred page description of sorrow sounds like a fascinating read!

I'll stop shopping at large stores and big corporations that employ thousands and thousands of people, because they are evil, and ultimately I want them to fail. After all, the unemployment rate isn't quite high enough as it is. I'll start shopping at "mom and pop" stores so I can proudly say I pay more because I'm better than the rest of those commoners.

I'll smoke those cool cigarettes, so I can quit and get that false sense of accomplishment. People will ask me how I did it and I will say "Will power and determination". They'll pat me on the back as though it is some sort of achievement, even if the real achievement would be to get passed all the peer pressure and not start in the first place.

I'll buy a gym membership in the right part of town and hire a personal trainer to tell me how to exercise. That sit up is indeed a difficult maneuver. And really, I feel the need to pay for acceptance from someone more physically fit than myself.

I'll learn the lingo and the catch phrases. I can be post modern if you let me in the know about what is currently deck and notoriously fin. My days of being so midtown are so over!

I'll drink the fancy drinks, wear the cool clothes, shun the "norms", learn the lingo, read the books, exercise correctly, and jump through all the hoops.

Please hipsters, just let me join your club.

Sincerely,

Me.